So many people have massively awful things to say about the places they’ve eaten. I have read some reviews as well as social media posts that have left me wondering WTF??? After leaving places I love all they have is hate. Seriously, they hate the food, they hate the atmosphere, they hate the service. That’s a lot of hate to harbor. Don’t hate people, ENJOY!
Ultimately, the result of all this hate is my little list of love. If you’re a chronic restaurant hater, you may never be happy. Dig deeper ’cause that mess may just go straight down to your soul. For the rest of you, my list guarantees, as long as there isn’t utter failure on the restaurant’s behalf, you’ll have at least a “kind of okay” experience.
- Go To Places That Suit Your Personality: If you’re a buttoned down business casual, you aren’t going to like a tattooed death metal edgy themed joint. Think mellow, think cafe, think positive. Think smart!
- Check Out the Menu Ahead of Time: This is what websites and food apps are for people! If you want Duck Confit, you won’t be happy in a pizza place, duh!
- Don’t rush: If you’re in a hurry, get fast food. Your time constraints aren’t the rest of the world’s problem.
- If You’re Starving and You Know It…: Get an app! If you’re so hungry you’re gonna die in the normal thirty minutes it takes the kitchen to crank out a dinner plate, order a little something fast. Nothing comes out quicker than a salad. Eat some lettuce and calm that inner diva.
- Weekends are Busy. Period: If you want to dine during peak hours, you’re gonna wait. End of story. Go have a drink at the bar, chat with friends, play a game on your phone, read a novel…whatever. Know that you aren’t special and that you’re gonna wait a bit.
- Party of Four: Four is one of the most common table sizes in a restaurant. If you roll with more than four, they’ve gotta give you multiple tables. That takes more time. Got it?
- Party of Two: Don’t think you get to waltz right in to a table for four though, sometimes you have to be seated at a designated twofer (is that a word?) Consider high tops in the bar, they’re usually open and there’s usually a fast turn over in there. Also, the people watching is amazing for date conversation and personal amusement.
- Miserable? Stay Home!: If you know you’re in an incurable mess of a mopey mood, do not, I repeat do not leave your domicile. We don’t need your ‘tude out here while the rest of us are having killer food and conversation. Netflix and takeout till your little heart’s content. Get yourself happy before you try and mingle okay?
- Kids: Seriously sensitive topic. #KidsArePeopleToo. They are learning how to be human and you being a jerk about their excitement is not cool. Now if the kids are being evil little disciples of hell, that’s straight bad parenting…can’t help you there. Also, please take into consideration the boy screaming at his mac and cheese may actually have a special need and he really just needs your patience. At the end of the day, some restaurants are more kid friendly than others, but remember it is a trial and error process for the parents.
And on that note, please try a few of my favorite spots in Frederick:
Isabellas: Nummy Tapas and Chill Decor
North Market Pop Shop: Soda Pop for Days, Malts, and Hotdog Deliciousness
Black Hog BBQ: Meat Candy, Nuff Said.
Madrones: Pure Deliciousness. Brunch to Die For and #ThoseDrinksThough